‘I’m Too Scared to Live With This Child’

What happened when a mother decided to adopt a child in South Korea.

By Sang Sook Park, as told to Andrew McChesney, Adventist Mission

Since I was a little girl, I wanted to adopt a child in my homeland of South Korea. The desire remained strong after I got married and raised a son, but I feared that I wasn’t qualified to care for an adopted child.

Finally, I filled out the paperwork and started praying. “Send me a child whom I can handle,” I prayed. “When I had a biological son, it was not by my will but Yours. Give me this sign that the adopted child is from You: Make the first child I meet the one whom You want me to adopt.”

My prayer for this sign was as frequent as my breathing for the next 2 ½ months. Then the orphanage sent a 2-year-old child, Bomin. But she arrived, she stared at my husband and me in a frightening way. She just glared at us. I wanted to win her heart, so I gave her food and a doll. But she flung down the doll and acted like she was going to kill it. She threw fits and wouldn’t allow me to touch her. I sent Bomin back to the orphanage.

“I’m too scared to adopt,” I told my husband. “I’m not going to take this child.”

“You’re the one who will raise the child, so you decide,” my husband replied. “But to me, this child is just a helpless, precious baby.”

Those words angered me. My husband felt more sorry for Bomin than for me. I shut myself in another room and called up my friends to describe this scary child. My friends agreed that I had made the right decision. “It’s challenging to adopt, and not everyone can do it,” they told me.

But when I got off the phone, God seemed to be telling me something different. I sensed Him saying, “What happened to all your prayers and request for a sign that the first child would be chosen by Me?” I wept and told God, “I’m too scared to live with this child.”

But then I changed my prayer. “Please give me a clear sign,” I said. “If I’m supposed to take this child, give me confidence and the assurance that You will raise her. If I’m not supposed to adopt her, remove this heavy burden that I have to adopt a child.”

I prayed for five days. On the fifth day, I read 2 Samuel 24:14 during my devotions and realized that this was the answer to my prayers. In the verse, King David says, “I am in great distress. Please let us fall into the hand of the Lord, for His mercies are great.”

I remembered that God had led me throughout my life and would continue to care for my family with great mercy. I decided to fall into the hand of the Lord just like David.

“Let’s go get the child,” I told my husband.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as we drove to the orphanage. I could still see those glaring eyes. Then I thought, “This isn’t right. I’m going to meet this precious daughter of mine, but I’m crying.” I prayed, “God, help us love her and to bring her home safely.”

We waited a short time at the orphanage. Then Bomin entered the room. She quietly walked up to me and put her tiny hands into mine. I felt as if the Lord were holding my hands. I prayed, “I will lead this hand to heaven.” And we went home.

Sang Sook Park, 58, runs an adoption agency called Morning Calm Family that has placed 238 children in 160 Adventist families in South Korea over the past decade. She regularly visits Adventist churches to appeal to families to make their homes a mission field by adopting South Korea’s orphans. Since bringing Bomin home, she has adopted two more children and is currently in the process of adopting a fourth. Bomin is now a happy and healthy 12-year-old girl.